I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
