She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Do vagina's smell?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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