I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Randomize
