i think my tv is drunk
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
