it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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