32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
