i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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