well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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