I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Pappa wants mamma naked
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
