i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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