I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
it glows. i had to have it.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I wish there were birth control emojis
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
