no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
