No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
