I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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