worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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