dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
