His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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