I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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