I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
