Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
