People in love make me want to vomit
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So much Jack, so little girl.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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