i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
