Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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