Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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