Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
