um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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