Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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