I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
