I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
