Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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