They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
