that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
