I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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