Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
