Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
its not stalking. its research.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just pee around me
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
