Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
