I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
