can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
