Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
