i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
