He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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