They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
