You made me cry and you don't even care
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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