i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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