drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
