Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
