Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
