Small penises have feelings too.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
