I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
