We won't sleep together?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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