that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
