tell your sister to shave her snatch
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
